peace

Ok, its been a while. A lot has happened. A LOT.

Orientation was good. I can only describe it as information overload with a bunch of small talk throughout the weekend. I met some new friends through Anna, my roommate, even a boy on the football team. It will be so much fun to put a face with a number out there on the field. Sessions were boring. It did, however, get me totally jazzed about college and the overwhelming opportunities that lie ahead of me.

I am now "that girl" who dated a boy for a week. So I look like a fool, but at least I know exactly what I want and need. No hard feelings, no doubts, no regrets. I've never felt more sure about something.

There is nothing better than being in the company of old friends. Some things never change, and I found that out at the beach this past week. Its a miracle that I've been friends with Maddie and all of them since elementary school, and we still get together as if we've never been apart. Its going to be a huge blessing to have her by my side these next four years at Clemson. Beach week 2011 was filled with good humor, late nights spent stargazing, and a three story nerf battle after a house-wide viewing of the Bachelorette. Best trip ever.

Still loving that Exodus, and in my reading I've come to the part of the story where God parts the Red Sea for Moses and the Israelites. It looks like all hope is lost. They're trapped between the sea and the soldiers. But then Moses chimes in with some words of encouragement:

"The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still." Ex. 14:14

That is still so awesome to me. Once again, God's got our backs. He's going to stick to His word. And sometimes, the best way out is through, literally. So He parted the sea. CRAZY.

summer job: day one

I have the best job in the entire world. No really. Playing with kids all day with snack breaks and a trip to the pool. Plus paycheck. Totally awesome. Finley Day Camp is the bomb. It took a while to get in the swing of things but once I knew what I was doing, it was smooth sailing. Today I was a "noonie" and although I didn't go in at noon, I did get to sleep in some. I helped with the Lacrosse clinic to fill in for Grady but lets be real, I could offer no support. All in all, it was a fantastic first day at camp.

I started off the morning with Moses and the 10 plagues, and something struck me kind of odd. After each of the plagues, it read:

"But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart..."

Wait, so each time, the Israelites remained in bondage because God hardened his heart? It seems strange at first glance. But think about it. The first few times, Pharaoh's magicians could do all that Moses and Aaron did. They turned the staff into a snake, the water into blood, and even made frogs appear from dirt. But after that, they were rendered helpless. God was doing things through Moses and Aaron that no one could ever imagine. God hardened Pharaoh's heart to show us His infinite power, so that He would get all the glory. How mind-blowing is that? God does what is ultimately for our good and His fame.

all consuming fire

Its amazing what God speaks when I quiet my soul and open my ears. I love it when He hits me with unexpected revelations.

Being in that strange stepping stone between high school and college, I've encountered some unanticipated challenges. It feels like its some sort of standstill. Not only that, but previous frustrations have set in recently, especially concerning my dad. But get this: Moses got frustrated too. God told him, face to face, that He would deliver His people from Pharaoh's iron hand. All Moses had to do were a few simple tasks. So Moses did what God said. Nothing changed.

"Moses returned to the LORD and said, 'Why, LORD, why have you brought trouble on these people? Is this why you sent me? Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in Your name, he has brought trouble on this people, and You have not rescued them at all.'

Then the LORD said to Moses, 'Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: Because of my mighty hand he will let them go; because of my mighty hand he will drive them out of his country.'" Exodus 5:22-6:1

Holy mackerel. Basically, get ready, because we're about to be a part of an amazing move of God. In our weakness, His glory shines brighter, His power more mighty, and His love more radical than anything we could ever imagine. I want to see that each and every day, and experience it all in fresh ways constantly.

welcome back

After a long awaited reunion, Jashley (Jake + Ashley) has returned to normal. I can't explain how happy I am to be with that kid again. Its definitely not the same, but I don't want it to be. There were some things I would've changed. We talked, and the changes will take some work. But this time, I want it to be better. And everyone knows that anything worth it takes a lot of effort.

I'm not going to lie, I'm scared to death. I can't forget to take life and its challenges one day at a time. I'm trusting God is going to direct me step by step through all of this. I have no doubt He'll pull through every time.

Starting Exodus, and Moses' story is extremely encouraging. It reminds me that God remembers us when we feel like he's forgotten me and left me to fend for myself. Its also a huge comfort that God uses screw-ups for big plans, because boy I never seem to get it right. But each sunrise brings God's renewed mercies and grace, and I'm so thankful.

a recent graduate

Its all finally done! Graduation was Friday and I'm still not sad. Maybe thats a bad thing, but I'm taking it as "I'm ready for bigger and better things at Clemson." Now theres 3947539 grad parties to go to. Orientation is in one week and Anna Marie and I are more excited every single day. Mumford is this Wednesday, super pumped.

I finished Genesis this morning, which ends with the deaths of Jacob (Israel) and Joseph. Joseph's attitude towards his brothers really astounds me, and its the kind of attitude I want to have with all people that wrong me. His brothers are freaking out because they think Joseph is angry because of what they had done to him years before, so they tell him that Jacob left a message for him. "Find it in you to forgive your brothers for all that they put you through, they tried to harm you so they will be your slaves." But Joseph has already done that. He had forgiven them for a while now.

"But Joseph said to them, 'Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.'" Genesis 50:19-20

I often don't see that God works out everything for good. I'm praying that God will give me His vision and insight into all of life's curveballs.

It was yesterday at church that God really reinforced this idea to me. Derek was asking us to just be still and listen to what God had to tell us, because we never just get quiet and listen. And all I could hear was "It is well." And it is well indeed, because God is totally looking out for me. I'm loving this peace and comfort.

weakness

Lets face it.

I put up walls only to find the people who care enough to bulldoze through them.

I suck at trusting God, and I suck at putting him first, and I've never been more thankful that He loves me anyways.