half marathon

Its official: I completed my first half marathon.

I've never been good at finishing what I start. This has been something I've always told myself I wanted to do and I can check it off my bucket list! I finished with a time of 1:52:13 with an average mile pace of 8:34/mile. WHAT? It feels great to have worked hard for something and see how far I can push myself.

Lookin good after the race

13.1 glorious miles

To say I loved every second of it would be a straight up lie. But I can say that the entire time I was thanking God for two strong legs and the joy He gives me in using them. When I passed the 13 mile mark and made it into the baseball diamond for the final 0.1 miles I sprinted around those bases to home plate in tears (that is no exaggeration) because I DID IT. It was such a neat experience and I may or may not have cried multiple times in the midst of all the support along the course. Its so cool to see people encouraging loved ones to pursue their dreams and challenge themselves, not to mention how humbling it is to run alongside moms and dads and grandparents.

What an amazing picture of the Kingdom, too. You start running this race and there's no turning back and sometimes you love it and sometimes its really hard but you're pressing on toward the finish line where there's this big celebration and you realize that the journey was beautiful and worth it.

hindsight is 20/20

I would like to apologize for the lack of blogs, I'm mostly disappointed in myself for not having kept myself accountable the last few months. But in my defense, life has been insane as of late. If there's one thing I've learned this semester its that good time management does not come naturally to me. Young Life, 20 credit hours, and a job is a heck of a lot to do every week; but I'm loving every second of it.

Last weekend was fall break and I was lucky enough to be invited to the BYX formal in Charleston where I spent the first half of break. Sunday I was able to drive to Rals to be home with my family for the first time since August. I needed that desperately. Home is the only place I find true rest. 

Any time spent in Raleigh is wonderful. I love being home and in a familiar place. With familiarity comes reminders of my past. High school was rough for this girl, especially my senior year (I promise I'm not about to throw myself a pity party, just bear with me). My boyfriend of almost a year had left me heartbroken and classmates were cruel. That being said, I ate lunch alone in my car more often than I care to admit. I absolutely dreaded lunch time for that reason.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

All those days I spent eating lunch alone I would crack open my Bible and dive into scripture or journal or just talk to God. Looking back on that time when I felt like I had no genuine friends, I see now that Jesus was truly my best friend. I mean that in the least cheesy and most spiritually mature way possible. He was the first person I told anything to--doubts, hopes, fears, and dreams. We talked about the big stuff and the little things. It was without a doubt the closest I've ever been to Him. I knew intimacy with Him that I'd never known before and I was head-over-heels in love.

It took me feeling completely alone to find out how sweet and precious He is.

I've been feeling spiritually dry the past few months. If we're being honest and I know we are, theres been a lack of the Spirit in my life. Its been so long since I've heard His voice, I'm stuck in a one-sided conversation in which my side is seriously lacking effort. But I want the closeness with Him I used to know. I want to run to Him first concerning anything.

"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." Psalm 105:4

Heres to denying my flesh the privilege of going to any other human being about my experiences before I go to God. Its sure to be a challenge but I know He's far more than worth it.