romans 8:28

Lately I've been really discouraged. My short-sighted human vision has left me wondering what in the world God is doing. Its been a week of confusion, screw ups, and humility. But in all of this, God gave me comfort in a few things:

1. Once again, the story of Joseph blows my mind. I'm sure he had no idea what was going to become of his life when he was in a pit, on a slave caravan, in prison. Through all of his struggles, he found a way to trust and obey a God he knew little about. Its amazing to think that he followed and believed in God solely through the visions He gave to him, and I can't even trust God when I have a Talking Book and thousands of theological works at my disposal? Pretty humbling. And I'm pretty sure this means God's got my back, even when I don't see the big picture.
2. Back in middle school when I was having issues with girls at school, my mom gave me a little card (that I still have to this day, by the way; and found it today cleaning out a desk drawer). Inside the card read "When things get a little hairy, just remember God promises to work all things together for our good!" along with Romans 8:28. Not only was that encouraging then, it was still encouraging 6 years later. Thanks mom (:
3. Romans 8:28 is one of my favorites as it is. But my favorite is the Message version:

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. (8:26-28)

I just love it when God uses His words to speak to us over and over again in different and new ways each time. He is so creative and loves it when we experience Him with fresh insight.

So there you have it. I keep praying that God will show me what to do and where to go, but all He can say is to trust Him. But in the end, thats all that matters anyways.

nightlife

umm, this was us. yes. great.

Can I just say that Friday night was the most fun I've had in a long long time. Jess and I began the night at the Pita Pit (we won't talk about that). We successfully got lost in downtown Raleigh, but got right back on track. We chilled at Cup-a-Joe and caught up over coffee, then proceeded to our concert. The Morning Of really does a great job entertaining, love crowd participation. We got to hang with Jessica Leplon, that vocal goddess

and, in a combination of sweat and tears, sang our hearts out with every word of every song. Incredible kick-off to an amazing summer.

follow through

These past few days have been absolutely wonderful. Catching up with Meg over a little Panera goodness was much needed. Our small group had some college Q&A last night with TLC, Courtney and Megan's small group. Not to mention I met someone who also understands what an amazing person Chelsea Banister is, love it. Megan made banana cupcakes with avocado frosting, my kind of sweet treat. I took a Bosu Ball class two days ago, and I'm still sore; although I must say, its the best feeling. This morning I attempted my long weekly run, but it was so hot outside I had to cut it short so I didn't pass out. Now drinking some fresh brewed hazelnut coffee in bed, my favorite.

I've been reading through the story of Joseph (one of my all time favorites). Its amazing to see all the junk Joseph's brothers put him through, yet God still blessed him. He made him successful at everything he did. Everything. Even after Potiphar threw him in prison over false accusations, Joseph was put in charge of all the prisoners. When the servant forgot about him and he was left in prison for two more years, He remained faithful. Even though his brothers betrayed him in the worst way, Joseph provided for them in their time of need and loved them when it was hardest. Its so encouraging to know that God incorporates peoples mistakes and that, through our suffering, He is always with us.

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful..." 2 Timothy 2:13

Its so easy to forget that. But when I am gently reminded, its the biggest comfort. I'm so grateful for a God that loves me perfectly and unconditionally.

paradigm shift

Where to start? I'm finally finished with high school! That is, until graduation. But its been four long years, both good and bad. I'm so ready for what God's got planned next. Being out of school means poolside reading, lots of morning runs, trips to the Y (for both work and play), late nights and lazy days. Ben and I are already discussing our first trip out to the quarry. I love summertime.

I just finished Steven Furtick's book Sun Stand Still, and it really changed my way of thinking. Its all about asking God for the impossible and its based around the story of Joshua and how he asked God to make the sun stand still so that the Israelites could defeat their enemies. I'm making it a point to pray audaciously and incessantly for what only God can do, so He's getting all the glory in the end. But Furtick makes a good point in saying that we can't just sit back and wait for a change. We have to do our part and take action.

"Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:17

Its all pretty humbling. Theres a lot that that has required me to act, and I haven't. This summer will be committed to doing, not just saying. Lets go.

your heart on the line

Days of high school left: two.

I can hardly stand being in this place any longer. Theres no one person or thing that grates on my nerves, I'm just so antsy and ready to move on, now more than ever. I want to meet new people and go to new places. I've never been good with change, but I think this is one I'm ready to make. Give me college.

I have a huge problem with impatience. I should be appreciative of these last moments as a true kid. I should be living in the here and now. I should be looking for opportunities all around me. But simply, I'm not.

Good things come to those who wait.

God's timing is everything, literally. I am so quick to forget. I pray that He would give me the strength to wait it out just a few more months; He surely has great things ahead.

Genesis 29

Lunchtime spent with God and coffee is among my favorite things. But today I had a lot on my mind. I was really asking God for some assurance and affirmation. On my journey through Genesis I stumbled on the story of Jacob and Rachel. Here's the deal:

Jacob moves out to find himself a wife, when he gets to his uncles town. He sees his cousin Rachel and immediately falls to his face, weeping, because he loves her. He promises his uncle that he'll do anything, anything, to have Rachel's hand in marriage. Well the uncle takes advantage of this offer and agrees to give her away if Jacob works the land for seven years.

"So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." Gen. 29:20

The story goes on that at the end of those seven years, the uncle tricks Jacob into marrying the less desirable sister--Leah. But Jacob will not give up, and works ANOTHER seven years to marry Rachel.

Wait... what?

Fourteen years. Thats how long it took. Now don't get me wrong, I realize I'm probably not going to find that kind of man anytime soon, but it does give me hope. One day I will find a boy who will sacrifice for me, who will be patient in waiting, who will pay the price to have my heart. And thats love.

nothing else will do

"The joy of the LORD is your strength." -Nehemiah 8:10b

For some reason, God gave me this verse this morning. I guess it was a good reminder that only that which I find in Him alone can carry me through each day, survive all of life's curveballs. I definitely needed some encouragement today, more accurately some strength, and little did I know He would give it to me long before I realized its necessity. Praise God for His love overflowing. I'm thankful that He pursues me even when I don't pursue Him.

I've been walking through Genesis for a week or two. I have to say its got to be one of my favorites. I love that from start to finish, you can see how God's worked His perfect plan out for good, even in the details. Better yet, His plans incorporate peoples' mistakes. THANK HEAVENS. It gives me hope for His plan in my own life.

One of my all time favorites is the story of Abraham and Isaac. It actually makes me want to name my son Isaac (fun fact). When God told Abraham and Sarah that they would have a son, Sarah laughed. Not like "oh yay haha!" more like "uh you've got to be kidding haha" but then BAM along comes the baby and Sarah realizes how stupid she was to laugh at God's plans, and he's named Isaac, which means "he laughs". Kind of cool, right? But not only that, God commands Abraham to sacrifice his only son, he was a man of confident yet humble faith. I also love the way the Jesus Storybook Bible describes this scenario. It details Isaac carrying wood on his trip up the mountain, the same wood that would be used to sacrificially kill him. Sounds like someone we know (Jesus cough). Its really awesome to see how all of the Old Testament was laying the groundwork for Christ. Good news: the best is yet to come!

senior prom: round two

I have to say, it was even better than the first.

I got to wake up to my sweet rachel, we had a much needed slumber party. I started the day with a morning run with Tyler, its always a good time to catch up and do what I love most. I had some delicious homemade granola and greek yogurt (My only meal for the day, in fact. Weird.) and cleaned the basement. Rachel and I went and got our nails done with her step-mom. I surely love that girl. I did all the last minute things, picked up the boutonniere, did my hair and makeup, then headed off in the Colburn Benz. I did, however, have to remind Adam to get Rachel her flowers, and so a classy trip to the local Food Lion was in order. We took pictures at Alison's beautiful house, complete with a lake. Then it was my favorite part--dinner at Brio. Finished all of it, no surprise there. After dinner was the actual prom, which I must say was wonderful, they really did up Sanderson to look pretty good. Post-prom hang out sesh was fantastic. Pool, bowl game, movie marathon. Up until 7, not sure if I was too happy about seeing that sunrise, but definitely God's beauty on display as always. All in all, a great way to finish out senior year.