Monday 3:43 P.M.
Current status: sitting in a coffee shop, writing a persuasive speech on why physical education should be nationally mandated in elementary schools, munching on Kashi crackers in my new washable snack baggie
Reading: Shape of the Nation report published in 2012, Huffington Posts
Healthy Living blog, Mayo Clinic's BMI calculator
Listening to: girls grabbing coffee together two tables down and gabbing about diet pills, how awful they feel about eating a cinnamon roll, and how they are going to achieve Spring break bods
I can remember a time in kindergarten when I looked down at my feet and could not see them over my toddler belly. It was the first time that I felt overweight. It was the first time that I felt like my body wasn't what it was supposed to be. I grew up in a home that bought diet books and
People magazine and while they always encouraged one another concerning looks, they never had anything kind to say about their own bodies. I found myself harshly critiquing my physique in middle and high school and even more so as a college student. I'm constantly wishing that I could lose a few inches in some places and gain a few in others. In my eyes, almost every other girl has the body of a goddess and I'm the exception.
Ladies--does this sound familiar?
Its not just my story. I'm convinced that most if not all of us feel this way a majority of our life. Our culture has a skewed perception of normal when it comes to our beautiful and unique bodies.
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| average size woman with average size mannequin |
While I've been in recovery over the last year, I've vastly improved my relationship with food and exercise. Its been 8 months since I've truly binged and longer than that since I've exercised as compensation for caloric intake. I also went a solid three months without stepping on a single scale.
I've also tried to control my weight by counting calories on and off for days or weeks at a time. I've said no to plenty of desserts and snacks only to disappoint myself by eating them anyways. I've still had days where I step on the scale more than once. I've still had days where I call my 5'4" 135 lbs. marathon runner frame fat. I've still compared my body to other girls. I still ask for affirmation from my mom and boyfriend and roommates to make sure that I'm living healthfully and living normally and living recovered.
Whether you're dealing with an eating disorder or not, growing up an American girl is no easy task; that's why I have to break up with Ed every day.
Daily I decide to listen to my body.
Daily I decide to give myself grace.
Daily I exercise my heart and mind.
Daily I let Jesus tell me that I am worth it.
Daily I try to listen to His kindness and grace.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You are
enough.
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be glorified in my body, whether by life or by death." Philippians 1:20
Be kind to your body, you're a messenger after all.
