grace

Its been a while, I know. A whole lot has happened in the last few months.

I've learned so much about myself and others and the LORD. One thing thats been a huge part of these last few months has been the idea of His grace.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

For so long I'd been believing the lies Satan was feeding me; that I was the only person who struggled with these things, that I should be ashamed of what I'd done, that there would be no one on this earth who could relate to what I'd dealt with. I thought I'd keep my sin and shame locked up and hidden away forever, until I met Megan.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man." 1 Corinthians 10:13

She had recently become my small group leader at the time and we had hardly known each other longer than two weeks; but I was on the porch one day and she came and sat with me in a rocking chair. She told me that her small group were all sharing their testimonies each week and that she had the coming Sunday to share her own. So, naturally,  I wanted to hear. It turned out that her story was similar to mine and she told me about a specific sin that she had dealt with. She said that she had found a good friend to confess and confide in and it was the most freeing thing she'd ever felt.

It was like someone punched me in the gut. His Spirit was definitely telling me I needed to tell her what I had been struggling with, but me being an idiot I thought "surely You don't mean that, God." Um yeah, hi, He's always right.

So I held off on that one. The following night I left the dorm for a few minutes and when I returned, Anna had been talking with Key about something personal and kindly kicked me out. I was kind of pissed, so I went marching down to Megan's room. Oh boy, I had to tell her. So somehow it just came out. We both knew it needed to happen and that God had brought us together for a reason. It was like 50 elephants were lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe easy. The best part was, she didn't see me any worse than she did before.

God's grace can only shine through when we allow ourselves to be human enough to admit, out loud, to another person, our short comings and flaws. We often forget that he made us human. He wanted us to be human, to be imperfect. I am so thankful that He did. How much more beautiful is He when standing next to someone as messed up as me? With salvation there is freedom and joy and peace to be exactly who He created us to me, even with all our junk and all our messiness.