holiness

Happy Wednesday! So I called in sick today, which means I've had lots of time to catch up on things at home. Today marks the day of Macy's birth 19 solid years ago, what an amazing lady. I'm so thankful for her friendship. Current status concerning summer reading:
The Hunger Games-completed
So Long, Insecurity-pg. 151 of 346
Blue Like Jazz-pg. 13 of 240
I'd say its coming along quite nicely. Megan is visiting this weekend, which means lots of coffee outings and play time outside. My kids at work are still wonderful and cute in every way, but also challenging at times. Absolutely loving them to death though.

I'm seeing God work in magnificent ways lately. Once again He's proven to me that He can take this messy, sinful heart of mine and use it for His glory. How do I always forget that His plan accounts for all my sin and all my mistakes? Its like, duh, I'm going to mess up, but He knew that already. It was also a huge reminder to constantly tune into the Spirit; to take a step of faith when He prompts you. Be real about your struggles; be real about His victories. Remember that you are not the only one who's sinned the way you have.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man..." 1 Cor. 10:13a

After an awesome conversation with McCready (aforementioned "Macy") last night, He also reminded me that when we respond to the Spirit and say or do what He tells us to, we shouldn't worry about the results. If we obey, our work is finished; the outcome is out of our hands, whether that means a positive, negative, or indifferent response.

Story time! While waiting to clock-in Tuesday morning, a co-worker/friend and I were chatting at our cars and He noticed I was reading Blue Like Jazz. When I explained to him what it was about ("Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality") his response was, "wait, you're a Christian?"

Ouch.


Sucker punch in the gut. I'm sick to my stomach just typing this. As believers we are called to "be holy because [He is] holy" (Leviticus 19:2). That's a command, y'all. Holy. Set apart. Different. If someone has to ask, I'm not doing my job. Mark 6:12 says the disciples "went out preaching with joyful urgency that life can be radically different." I want passion like that. Jesus and I are going to be working on that. I hope I never get asked that question again, but boy, am I grateful for that humbling wake-up call. I'm asking Him to show me how to be holy in this lost world without radiating an abrasive, prideful air. Please please please, humility in EVERYTHING, God.

be the light

my weekend in photos: Lady A, Komen 5K, crafting for the apartment, and FDC 2012

Sometimes I forget how truly blessed I am. I'm currently at SOLA Coffee (dare I say I like it better than Jubala, judge me) after having a morning date with Molly, what an amazing girl. Camp starts in t-minus 40 minutes and I couldn't be more stoked. I've started two of the three books I plan to read this month, The Hunger Games and So Long, Insecurity and I highly recommend both of them to anyone. Fantastic reads.

Its interesting that Finley Day Camp's theme for the summer is "Be the Light." Its been neat realizing what God intends for us to do as believers. He calls us to go and make disciples (Matt. 28:19) which requires us to GO, to be the light in a dark, dark world. The Holy Spirit really convicted me Sunday after Pastor Chuck preached about that same idea. Too often, mostly out of comfort, I stay in my Christian bubble. To that I'd say, who's going to meet Jesus? That's no way to obey what He has clearly commanded us to do. I'm so looking forward to what He's about to do in the next few weeks. I'm praying that He'll give me words of truth and love to speak into receptive, open ears. I'm praying that as I take this journey, I won't be discouraged when I don't see immediate results. I'm praying that I'm in tune with the Spirit and that at the end He says, "Well done."

I've been all up in 2 Samuel this week, so David is the star of the show. Its crazy to see just how quickly David lets his guard down and his sin snowballs out of control; and, whether we like it or not, God never fails to show us where we mess up. The best news: God still loves him and blesses him beyond belief. I'm really thankful that God can point out the sin in our lives and if we let him, he can uproot it on the spot. It hurts to fall. A lot. But how much sweeter is the victory when we let God pick us back up and set us back on track? Beth Moore writes,

Maybe we’re all just sick to death of taking three steps forward and two steps back. Call me a math wizard, but isn’t that still one step forward?...And if we don’t lose that ground, aren’t we on our way somewhere new? Willing to take three more steps—even if we lose two?

In Christ, we have no fear of failure. How wonderful is it to have a Father who eternally wants to see us grow and succeed?

june bug

June goals, fresh hydrangeas, and current reads

The first of June could not be more beautiful. I'm loving the fresh blooms (gorgeous pink and periwinkle hydrangeas from our yard, my favorite) and warm sunshine. With a new month comes new goals. If all goes well, I should read The Hunger Games, So Long Insecurity, and Blue Like Jazz by July. I'm also instituting my morning quiet times again. Its good to get in the habit of starting your day with the love of your life and let Him fill you up. It also helps me to actually do it instead of saying "oh I'll get to that later" because, lets face it, I usually don't. Here's to turning over a few new leaves.

God's been showing me that almost always His plans and my plans don't match up, and that's a good thing. I've had to say "no" to a few things, including my usual job at camp. While I'm still working with my kids at the YMCA this summer, I was hand-picked and presented with the new opportunity and difficult challenge of being a summer-long permanent "noonie" or sub for counselors that have their half day. I won't have one huddle all summer, but it gives me the chance to build relationships and share the love of Christ with all the 1st and 2nd graders as well as my co-counselors and fellow noonies. Even though it wasn't in my plan, it was in His plan. I'm beginning to see how He orchestrates each aspect of my life all for His glory, what a good God we serve.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

I'm praying that He'll give me strength and boldness and opportunities to love the few specific co-counselors He's placed on my heart. Its going to take a lot of faith and trust that He can do all things, even if its opening up the eyes, ears, and hearts of these precious friends. But I'm expecting the LORD to move in big ways this summer, and I'm ready to take the plunge.

just friends

I'm in my favorite local coffee shop, Jubala Village Coffee, and whats better than sipping an iced County Line Cocktail? Sipping a free iced County Line Cocktail. I just broke up with the GAP, two jobs was too much. I'm getting mentally prepared for my trip to Rock Hill tomorrow to see some of my sweetest friends and to Charlotte to see Dave Matthews for the first time. I get to hang out with my girls Megan, Macy, and Hillary all day Thursday before I have to come back to Rals for Y training. I was in a crafty mood last night and after a trip to Michael's and lots of glitter I had created a masterpiece. Ladies and gents--the chevron glitter clipboard.

Before: Clipboard, tape, glitter, Mod Podge

After: Call me an education diva

So 1 Samuel is almost finished, and I'm astounded by a few things. After David kills Goliath (a pretty awesome throw down) and Saul welcomes him into the kingdom, he and Jonathan become great friends. 1 Samuel 18:1 even says that Jonathan "became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." Jon, despite his father's hatred for him, always spoke well of David to others. Even when Dave was on the run, Jonathan went to him and "helped him find strength in God" (1 Sam. 23:16). That's genuine, honest, encouraging, selfless love between two brothers in Christ. I want that! My prayer is that God would fill me up so I'm overflowing with this kind of love in all my relationships. I want to go deeper with people and know their hearts so that maybe we, too, can be one in spirit. I want my friendships to be so centered around Christ that its all outsiders can see.

moments

new coffee and quiet time spot-a big rust colored armchair with a sunrise view

Life's been grand. I've been able to see almost everyone I missed while I was away at school. Still waiting on that real-talk slumber party, Rach. We have lots of catching up/checking up to do. So far I've already been on a road trip to Lynchburg with Dillon, visited Christin at NCSU with Rachel, worked a few days, and, to kick the summer off right, had a bro-b-q last night with my best friends. Today, being Mother's Day, we celebrated by going out to lunch and being extra nice to mom. She's such a sweet lady, I'm so blessed to have her.

This morning I was reading 1 Samuel 14. Jonathan, Saul's son, sneaked out and tried to fight the Philistines without him knowing. After breaking a silly oath Saul made, Jon was cursed. God doesn't forget when we make promises, by the way. So when Saul went to ask for God's provision and guidance regarding the Philistines, here's what happens.

So Saul asked God, "Shall I go down after the Philistines? Will you give them into Israel's hand?" But God did not answer him that day. Saul therefore said, "Come here, all you who are leaders of the army, and let us find out what sin has been committed today." 1 Samuel 14:37-38

I can't tell you the countless times I ask to hear God's word on something and haven't heard anything. Never do I immediately think its a problem on my end (although it without a doubt always is). Normally, there's something getting in between He and I. Maybe I'm putting something else first, or maybe I haven't taken that next step of faith He's calling me to. This week, I'm praying that He reveals whatever it is that tends to block our line of communication. I want to hear His voice loud and clear above the rest of the chaos in this world.

dear ashley,

Congratulations! You just finished your freshman year in college.

It was a year of firsts. You ran your first 5K and 10K. You got your first tattoo. You changed your major for the first time (and then for the second time). You had your first roommate and your first blind date and went to your first frat party. You went to your first Young Life club and on your first backpacking trip. Some things you wished you never tried, and some things you can't wait to do for the rest of your life.

You met some pretty rad people who changed your life. You took some friendships from home deeper than they've ever gone. You were real with people in a way you'd never been before, keep it up. Don't forget that inside everyone is just as screwed up as you are. Don't forget that its the reason you love people so much.

You had some peaks and valleys this year. Don't forget to look up and praise Him in moments of triumph; don't forget to look behind at all He's brought you through when you can't see your way out of the pit. Remember that you are redeemed, bought at a price, called by name, adopted as His own.

Learn from your mistakes, make the most of every chance you get. You'll blink and it'll be gone before you know it.

So here's to freshman year and to making the next three just as awesome.

satisfy us

This idea of contentment seems impossible particularly the way our American culture works. We always want to get a raise or lose a few pounds, its always on to the next thing. Its something that I've been wrestling with in all areas of my life.

In Numbers 11, the Israelites complain that all they eat is manna. Even when the LORD provided all they needed daily, they wanted something else, something different, or something more.

Ok, flip over to Psalm 90.

So Moses wrote a Psalm. In this Psalm, Moses writes,

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:14

How awesome would it be if every day I woke up and the first thing I thought of was God's love? I'm going to go ahead and say I don't think thats ever happened. But thats my prayer! I want to wake up in the morning and sing for joy because of His unfailing love. I want to experience the LORD's joy in new ways each day. I want to expect great things from Him, and then see them happen.