before Haiti

crafts, love, and banana blueberry muffins

work shouldn't be this fun

Its been a while since I've last posted, thus I failed to complete my June goal to blog weekly (only at the end thankfully). Perhaps the most memorable moments of the past two weeks were spent with Megan during her weekend stay in Rals. I loved being with her for a few days, showing her around the city, exploring, and catching up. I forget sometimes how much I appreciate her friendship. Other than working, I've been running, baking, and crafting. Not much has changed. As for my goal to read three books by July, yeah that one flopped too. But I did get started and almost finished with a few books.

As for God and myself, I'd be lying to say we were super close right now. I feel really distant. Relationships ebb and flow, thats natural. In these last few days, though, I've been struggling with the condition of my heart in preparation for this trip to Haiti. I feel like there is no possible way that I could have the capacity to love the Haitians more than I love myself. Donald Miller writes in his book Blue Like Jazz,

The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: life is a story about me.

How often can I possibly think about me in 24 hours. I'll give you a hint, ITS ALL THE TIME. I'm concerned. I'm scared I won't let go long enough to let God's love permeate my soul to show His love to the people I'll meet these next 11 days. My brain keeps playing through the "what ifs." I don't want to go seeking glory for myself.

If I really believe in a God who can transform lives, then I need to start living like it. I have to trust that even in a short plane ride He can mold and shape this clay heart into a vessel ready to pour out His sweet, sweet truth. Here's to showing the love of Jesus to Haiti and here's to God showing himself through our experiences.